Wrote in my journal last November 5, while in training for my last competition, the 2nd WorldSkills Asia Abu Dhabi 2023:
"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me.
...I just realized that I had more bad days during training than I have good ones. And yet that didn't deter me. Because somehow I have accepted in me that things aren't always perfect. And regardless of what is happening around me, I still have a choice to stand my ground or be fettered by the external events happening around me. I have a choice. A choice!
And I choose to continue practicing even when I feel unworthy, stupid, and all the odds aren't in my favor. Because in order to fill the gap between where I wanted to be and where I am right now, I have to put in the reps. There are no shortcuts. I have to put in the reps, to practice and practice because even when I could not control the circumstances that I have—there is one thing that I control: how I show up.
And so regardless, I continue to show up, to practice. Because my performance during the competition is directly proportional to the effort that I gave during practice. I do not much care about the results because I do not control them. But I do control my performance during competition.
As for my last competition, I do not see myself proving something to anyone anymore. I am now doing this because this is my calling, a responsibility. This is what life is asking of me and I will answer. This is God asking me to trust Him again and I will answer.
This is God's Plan and surely, goodness and mercy will follow me."
- wrote last November 5, 2023 in my notes
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