It doesn't make sense really but it stands for Random Non Specific Grumbling or Grumblers. It should be RNG but I like the small s and the extra letter. My idea? Not really it was what my good friend Robin Burton came upon with and he and I are exceedingly good RNsPGers.
This means that we grumble about absolutely anything, generally in each other's company. We've never been known to grumble about each other, other than in jest.That would be just too cruel.
We've never been short of material. Who could be these days? Only today I heard Germaine Greer grumbling about Supermarkets, I can't be specific on what she was grumbling about but it is a subject wide open for the Grumblers. I'd mark her as a Super Grumbler. Perhaps we should ask her to be out Patron.
Let's take a particular grumble, modern technology. There's hardly anyone out there who does not grumble about it, despite the fact that it makes many people's lives better. My own gripe is with people, generally of my own advancing years, grumbling about it in a conspiratorial way. They look at you like you might agree with them and when you don't it's as if you've just trodden in something soft on the ground and entered their shag pile living room wearing your dirt laden walking boots. Younger people make the assumption that you know nothing of this techie stuff and that you might be a pain in the neck with your ridiculous questions. Ask any 65 plus year old what sort of reception they might get in an Apple Store. The shop assistants, as we used to call them,would rather walk past you than address you, thinking you've simply lost your way to the shopping centre toilets. Even better if you walk in with a shopping trolley, you are then totally invisible.
I have for years been on Linked In, for no good reason other than I like to see what's going on. I've been retired for some years now but Linked In can't see my shopping trolley so it keeps asking me if I'd like a job in London working for some high end graphic design outfit. I tempted to apply. I'm used to rejection and in this case it's guaranteed.
Perhaps we should give grumbles a star rating, this one would get a very moderate 3 star rating on my GrumblaGrades. Apple Store staff might be in for a 4 star rating.
Rating system works as follows
( Max rating is 5 stars )
1 Star: Not worth a candle. No sane person would grumble about this. Example: Not quite enough sugar in the tea. Oh! Come on, get a life, as they say.
Worth a sigh but nothing more.
2 Star: Solid Grumble. Anything grubby and dirty, but not likely to cause any health issues. Anything that elicits the phrase " Just look at the state of that". I used the phrase once when looking through house for sale details and the estate agents had not persuaded the owner to perhaps make the bed. A sample of both the vendor and the agents shooting themselves in the foot. I wasn't even there, just looking at a photo, but it's a solid 2 stars.
Worth a sigh and a harrumph perhaps.
3 Star: Rock Solid Grumble, Like when you get on the phone to have a grumble and you are put on hold for at least 20 minutes and then cut off. The sort of level where there is a temptation to throw the phone in the direction of the nearest brick wall at high velocity, but you catch yourself thinking that the only person to suffer here will be yourself. Phoning to grumble is a tricky business, as the person who does eventually answer is probably working from the box room of their house as they put this out to part time people and it's not their fault, they are just the Grumble Butt, poor things, and they are trying to stay 'on message' their call being recorded so they cannot say what they surely would like to say for fear of losing this vital part time work. I'd recommend being as pleasant as possible to them just to hear their relief that you are not blaming them as most do.
Much harrumphing, tutting might be introduced and the occasional disbelieving : "Really?"
4 Star: As the 3 star but the temptation to throw the phone actually seems worth it.
Beyond a sigh, a solid bit of teeth clenching and certainly a "For crying out loud".
5 Star: It's a belter. One of those things where you say to yourself that you will be writing to the Managing Director CEO or whatever the top person is called with a :strongly worded complaint, and that you will devote a huge amount of time to this effort until you consider the issue is resolved to your satisfaction. It's not one of those Horizon Post Office cases, those life damaging things don't come into this realm, but you will try to stick to your guns and stay limpet like glued to the grumble until satisfaction is achieved. You would try phoning but your phone is still in bits from a recent 4 star Grumble.
Massive teeth clenching, some Anglo Saxon language to oneself, groaning loudly allowed, whatever the vocal version of grim determination might be. One needs a large cup of tea and suitable biscuit after one of these, or even something stronger.
Here then is a complete manifesto for the RNsPG. I've started a group on Facebook. Polite observations, hints and tips always welcome there. Membership is open to anyone with a pulse, even a weak one. It's a great excuse for me to draw the odd cartoon here and there, and of course there's the added bonus of hearing about other people's grumbles.
Thank you for 'reaching out' to us your call is important to us, please rate us on Grumble Advisor as it helps others to be a pain in the southern region as well. Leaves on the line? Experienced grumblers will recognise the reference.
No comments:
Post a Comment