It is Monday, August 26, 2024. I am in Staples, Minnesota at my sister's home. It is 88 degrees, the dew point is in the 70's and the mosquitos are unbelievable. But this was the day we chose to scatter our parent's ashes. The weather would be the same tomorrow so there was no benefit in delaying. Our mother had passed recently, April 5, 2024 but our Dad died October 19, 1992, 32 years ago. Mom still had his ashes in a box in her apartment so we felt this would be a wonderful opportunity to unite them. My sister has 20 wooded acres on her land which used to be her Christmas tree farm. It is quite beautiful, very cathedral-like, so we planned on walking through the area to find a perfect spot. However, the weather conditions and the insect swarm made us change our walk to a ride in a golf cart. So, we suited up. Long pants, long sleeves, hats, gloves, scarves and plenty of insect repellent. We sprayed our skin, our hat, our clothes. We thought we were ready.
However, once we were driving in the tall grass and the woods we realized it was a lot worse than up near the house. Even with all the bug spray the mosquitos were still in our face. We pushed on past the meadow and into the trees where it was marginally better but there was absolutely no breeze. Once we located a really nice clearing we sped back to the house to regroup and make plans. It was obvious scattering ashes into the air was not going to work. No breeze and the air was thick with humidity. We decided to scrape away a section of pine needles which were a few inches deep, dig a depression in the middle and put the ashes there. Information we found about bone ash and how to spread ashes said to wear gloves and use a a large spoon. Under normal circumstances, ash will stick to your skin, under these circumstances it was a certainty. So with a plan we returned with our tools.
We cleared away the needles, we dug down a bit into the dirt and then we went back to the safety of the garage because the insects were so bad. Even if it looks cool and idyllic from these pictures, it was hot and we were sweating. We spayed up some more, loaded our parents ashes into the cart and returned for our final ceremony and goodbyes. We had nothing specific planned but what ended up happening was perfect. I had Dad's ashes and my sister had Mom's. With a spoon I scattered his ashes around in the circle we had created (right photo) and put the rest in the center. My sister then did the same with hers (left photo).
We then gently intermingled the ones in the center and stepped back. Through sweat and mosquitos and now tears, we said our goodbyes. I personally think this picture with the towering trees behind the their final resting place is beautiful.
All that was left to do was cover the area with pine needles, and scatter branches and boughs over the top to mark the area. My sister returned later to ad some stones to the spot. We felt these were sufficient markers. We know what is there so no need for names and dates.
We hope they would approve.
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