Dialogue with Anne Lamott (and me)

By Cara Sue Achterberg on August 1, 2024

Now, I think I love Anne Lamott more than the average bear. I've read everything she's written, stalk her a bit on Facebook, even listen to the sermons she's given at random churches throughout the years. But…

Here's the thing. We teach best what we most need to learn. As a mediocre rider, I learned A LOT teaching riding. As a passionate, but unstructured, often too-wordy writer and struggling, lazy marketer, I am good at teaching writers to write and publish. Because I've had to work so hard for it. When something doesn't come naturally, you have to pick it to pieces to figure it out. If you're a natural, well, how do you teach that?

Anne Lamott, while a wonderful teacher in many ways, is not the best at teaching dialogue. Why? Because she is a master at writing it. How many times have you read her work and felt like she was talking to you from across the booth at your favorite coffee shop. Or thought, 'she totally gets it.' (If you don't believe me, read Operating Instructions.)

This very short chapter on dialogue is pretty vague with lots of ideas but nothing truly concrete beyond listen to your characters well so that you can make them speak authentically.

She also advises listening to people everywhere in your life and remembering cadences, tones, turns of phrase.

Unless you're walking around with the recording app going on your phone. Which seems brilliant until you realize you will never actually listen to all that dribble and ums and mundane conversation about the weather and how 'totally fine' you and everyone you run into are doing (when in reality you are struggling to make it to lunch time and the freedom to play Match 3 unencumbered on your phone, which will be dead by then because of all that recording).

And, for the most part, we don't remember the words people say. Instead, we remember the feeling we got from those words.

Another brilliant writer, Maya Angelou, said it best when she said people will not remember what you do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

I'm not saying that reading the chapter on dialogue won't teach you something. Everything you read teaches you something.

Instead, I'm going to offer you a mini-version of the class I teach on dialogue.

Dialogue is the best way to reveal characters.
Use characters' names sparingly. We don't say each other's names very often in real life. Using a person's name every other line is awkward (try this in real life).
Use only dialogue tags that are necessary and use primarily "said." Avoid adverbs at all cost! (if you have to describe how someone said something, then re-think what they are saying. Not to beat a dead horse, but show, don't tell.)
Read it outloud. If you really want to hear it, read it outloud with someone else. (You can also try using the voice on your computer to read it to you.)
Don't use dialogue to dump information. (That's lazy writing.) No soliloquys. People don't talk like that, and if they did they would have no friends.
You don't need all the hellos and good byes, or the small talk of real life, it's boring and drags down the dialogue.
Characters generally sound better and think faster than we do. Be clever and funny, whenever possible.
Punctuate correctly – learn this. Doing it wrong is a giveaway that you are an amateur. There are lots of resources for this – study them.
You don't have to give complete conversations. That's too tedious for the reader. Jump in mid-conversation and jump out before it's completed.
People have distinct speech patterns, but they may be subtle. Kids sound different than adults. Educated sounds different than uneducated. Think about who your characters are – none should sound the same. In fact, once we know our characters we should be able to tell who is talking by the way they talk.
My personal golden rule: Characters don't waste words. If it doesn't move the story forward or reveal character, cut it out.

I usually teach that in about 90 minutes with lots of examples and exercises, so if any of it doesn't make sense, please raise your hand. I'm happy to expound on any of it.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know you've got lots of options, so thanks for sharing a few of your minutes with me.

Honored,

Cara

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