I had intended at an earlier time to write about several "ancient words gone missing," beginning with a post on grace*. Other matters have arisen, and so this is only my second post in the intended series.
Fellowship is not a term I hear when listening to conversations among younger people, although I hear "team" often in political and sports contexts.
There is the International Order of Odd Fellows who confer Degrees in Odd Fellowship, and there are several Christian groups which refer to their fellowship. In both these examples, the term refers to a group of like-minded people, sharing some values in common, who set out to use those values to influence and/or help others. That's a pretty narrow concept, although a respectable one (by the way, they are the only examples I find of "fellowship groups" in Duck Duck Go). There is Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring, about people who support a hero, the Ring-bearer, to whom and to which they are fiercely loyal, even dying for them. (I note that other fictional heroes also have people dying for them, such as Thomas Covenant [The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stepen Donaldson], and Harry Potter. Odd, by strong contrast, that the very real hero of Christianity dies for the others, although some are martyred after his departure.)
One might think of fellowship as the feeling of closeness that military people and police feel when working together, particularly in combat or emergency rescue. But the term usually used in those examples is "camaraderie". Participants in team sports probably feel some of the same closeness, but this is referred to as being on a team. Politics tries to arrogate this team concept to itself, but theirs is usually a team named after an individual leader. My experience is that this is really a situation of followership rather than fellowship, more sycophancy than mutual support.
I offer a different meaning of fellowship: the recognition that we are all mired in the human condition (however you may define that) and therefore we are all due regard and interest from each other. Whoever you are, you are my fellow. Because of this understanding, I propose that in this lonely world, where people can die without having been known by anyone for a long time, it is important and right that we be sufficiently interested in, and know others well enough to bear witness to their lives --to be able to say to someone else, this person has had a life of which I know some things: he or she held these values and possibly others; has been connected by blood and social contact with others; and has been living next to someone else whom I can also name. This person embodied these qualities, which have become part of my life.
You may have a very realistic concern about getting more involved than you intended. For myself, there is protection by my core code of ethics, derived from my religion: be as concerned for others, including the environment, as for yourself, neither more nor less. This helps me keep the balance level, so that I don't lose myself as the fictional heroes' followers do.
Also, there are people who want to "keep themselves to themselves." That preference must be respected, except in times of present danger.
I think that fellowship, exercised among a variety of people, could help diminish the polarities which currently tear us apart. In fellowship, we get to feel good about ourselves (except when we have actually done something terrible which much be amended), without needing anyone's permission. And no one needs our permission to feel good about themselves, either. Holding these values in fellowship might be difficult for some people who like to feel they are superior to others. But to them I say, "It will be a lot less work and stress to be a fellow to me than a judge of me. You may even benefit from knowing me. But judging me will not benefit you at all."
After all, everyone needs a metaphorical place. Do you know what a place is? It is when you get up in the morning and stand outside your front door and know that someone near or at least local, cares about your being there. You matter to them. Whether it is because you are useful, talented, in some way a fixture on their landscape of passing time, or a fixture relative to their own place in the world, good for a chat, or good company, you make a difference in their lives, as they do in yours.
Everyone needs that fellowship, that connection. It is a basic and essential need, as basic as bodily functions -- not something earned or achieved or deserved. Meeting that need, and having yours met, by giving witness to each other's lives, makes your life worth while, too. Having this fellowship may require going out of your way, or simply having a more than casual conversation. When you ask "how are you", you wait for and listen to the answer before moving on, and express a proper level of concern, interest, empathy, or sympathy, and perhaps say something about yourself ("I know what you mean") every time. This is fellowship.
I know you are busy. But it is so important, that if you are too busy for fellowship, you are entirely too busy and probably neglecting your health and your soul.
As I wrote earlier:**
Witness to avoid aloneness. We must bear witness to each others' lives. Let no one be alone and unknown. Hold hands spiritually and emotionally, and sometimes physically. Touch can be a powerful aid to life.
I suspect that the ultimate results … will be more good than we know to expect,
and that when our times in life are ended,
we will know what it was to which we have given informed consent,
we will like ourselves, and
it will be well with our souls.
*Ancient words gone missing: grace – Upon reconsidering…
**We know what we're doing, right? Part II – Upon reconsidering…
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