On Monday, June 17th, we held a Coronation Service for Adeline Katherine Augusta (Malzahn) Grieser, my mother. Her Pastor calls it a coronation service because he says that Adeline has now achieved her crown and she is with God.
Well Done, Thou Good and Faithful Servant...Enter Thou into the Joy of thy Lord.
- Matthew 25:21
My mother, ever the organizer, left instructions for what songs she wanted sung (led by the Praise Band), what verses she wanted read, hopefully some fond remembrances from the Pastor in his homily and finally to have her ashes spread somewhere in nature.
We tried to honor as many of the wishes as we could. Even though it was a Monday afternoon, the Praise Band was able to put together enough members who were either retired or could get off of work to attend. Every song brought more tears to my eyes as I had sat next to her in church many times and sung these songs. "I Danced in the Morning", " I can Only Imagine", "Here I Am Lord" and finally, "Every Morning is Easter Morning". That last one was always sung on Easter (and other times) but it was one of those songs that just begged for you to stand up when you sang it. If the congregation just sat there, my Mother would stand up and hope others would too. One other, Debbie Hunter, always stood with my mother and at her service Monday, Debbie was there and stood when we sang that song. I didn't know that as the time as I was filling up a million kleenexs, but she came to me after and told me she had stood in memory of my Mom. That was so special. PS: The congregation usually followed Debbie and Mom's example and stood.
We had the the picture board so people could see Mom in her youth when she was strong and beautiful, and in her later years when she was not so strong but still beautiful, to my eyes.
At one time she attended a class at church that focused on one's life journey. The participants were encouraged to develop a "Trail Map" of their life, so far. My mother really dove into this, not only making it look like a real trail but adding in little pictures. The original trail went through 1998. Later she would add milestones up to 2011. I have attached a photo of the entire board but added one detail so you can see some of the entries better.
I think it was a perfect addition to this gathering of her friends and family.
Finally, I wasn't so sure how many people would attend. She was well-loved at her church and made a lot of friends. Heck, she made friends wherever she was, but once again, it was a Monday afternoon and this is not an occasion that you send out invitations to. I was just hoping enough people had seen the obituary. I was pleasantly surprised at the nice turnout. Small, but people representing many aspects of her life. There were friends from church, the pharmacist she always went to, her insurance agent who became her employer for 12 years, a woman who lived in one of the apartment buildings she had lived in here, in Green Bay. Naturally my sister and I and our spouses but also her dear niece and nephew and their spouses (coming from Minnesota) and a man I didn't immediately recognize. Once he told me his name I almost fainted. He and his family lived next door to us in Chicago on Kedzie Ave. We were kids together. We had moved to the house on Kedzie in 1961. So my sister and I have known him for 63 years. Yes, we have been out of touch but my sister made sure he knew Mom had passed because being a friend we played with, she welcomed him in to our house as one more of the kids. Some sort of bond developed between them, maybe because he liked to write as she did. Who knows? It was a great reunion, especially for my sister who shares his age.
So it became a special day. I think we sent Mother off, in her crown, in style. I want to finish this post with her words that I asked the Pastor to read at the service because there was no way I would have made it to the end. After my mother passed, I, of course, went through her papers. That is where I found all her instructions for the service and her request to be cremated, her will. But in the box was also a sealed envelope with my sister's and my name on it. I waited till I had my sister on the phone before opening it. Inside was a card.
Inside the card was a 'farewell" poem she had written. It was very hard to read it to my sister, because this was the first time I had seen it. I had to stop many times. I want to share it with you because it is so her. Just know, even typing it out here is tough. Love you Mom, and goodbye, for now.
"To My Beloved Daughters...
To My Loved Sons-in-Law...
To My Adored Grandson...
Don't stand by my grave and weep.
I am not there!
I am in all the help & encouragement I gave you.
I am in all the trips we made, all the museums we visited.
I am in all the jokes and laughter we shared.
I am in all the things that I taught you.
I am in all the good times and the bad times.
I am in all the cards I sent, all the letters I wrote.
I am in all the care I gave your father.
I am in all the tears I shed over you.
I am in all the things I bought for you, even the dresses you didn't like.
I am in all of the volunteer work I've done,
in all the scrapbooks I've sent to brighten other lives.
I am love.
Don't stand by my grave and weep.
I am not there. I am with you, always."
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