If, like me, you posses a beard, mine used principally to hide my face, then you will be familiar with this problem. You look into a mirror, not too often, and when you do you spy a little drop of unknown liquid attached to a hair on the beard. This is a schtubbelfrome, Taken from the German it means exactly that, a small gleaming bead of liquid that is visible to the naked eye from some yards away. The viewer is inclined to think that the owner of the schtubbelfrome is well past his sell by date and might have 'needs'. This is not necessarily the case as the owner of the aforementioned is generally in the dark about it and has no idea where it came from. In addition the owner is likely not to care one iota about it, this proving that he does in fact have 'needs'. Just a thought. Look it up in the German dictionary if you like, but I'd be surprised if it you find it.
Wu liquid is not what it seems, a Chinese sauce, but is good old washing up liquid. Some thing to be used before drying up with a towel that reminds you of a holiday in the Orkneys, as there is a fading map of the Orkneys printed on it.
I listened to a programme the other day when a person suggested the best way to wash up and how to stack a dishwasher. A minefield, just like the waters of the Orkneys in the Second World War. I recall some many years ago a commercial for a dishwasher which featured a small boy letting a St Bernard dog lick the plates before loading the dishwasher. The message was that with this new fangled dishwasher you did not have to wash the dishes before you washed the dishes! This was essentially the message of the programme I listened to. Take the big bits off but the rest will be tackled by the new technology, get rid of the dog.
I also recall a sequence from a film, and I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the movie, which featured a couple washing up to some upbeat dance music. Shot from behind the couple dances as they washed up. Her washing, him drying. Now that's what washing up is all about.
Back to the radio programme, the so called expert on washing up explained that you should not wash up with loads of suds and bubbles and you should definitely not use a tea towel. I shouted at the radio: " What about the Orkneys for Chrissake!" and then "How will I recognise the birds?" We have another tea towel which features Birds of Britain. Handy as you dry off the porridge bowls looking out into the garden.
I was so put out by the suggestion, almost frothing at the mouth, that I thought that I might have instantly created a schtubbelfrome.
A view of the Orkneys one is unlikely to find on a tea towel, a very fine rust bucket.
No comments:
Post a Comment