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Saturday, 30 March 2024

2023 – The Roughest Year

In November of 2022, a full year ago, Benjamin had an inexplicable breakdown – first came tendinitis, weight loss, and a stress fracture, then terrible panic/anxiety/OCD attacks, insomnia and even more dramatic weight loss, with clinical depression re…
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2023 – The Roughest Year

Malva and Benjamin

March 30

In November of 2022, a full year ago, Benjamin had an inexplicable breakdown – first came tendinitis, weight loss, and a stress fracture, then terrible panic/anxiety/OCD attacks, insomnia and even more dramatic weight loss, with clinical depression resisting medication. Psychiatry, counseling, various medications…only one medicine was helpful, and then the months crawled by with medication trials that brought no further improvement. Finally, a nutritionist suggested therapeutic levels of EPA fish oil, magnesium L-threonate (which crosses the blood/brain barrier), plus further nutritional details. With this program in place (since mid-September), there's been a gradual climb out of darkness. We are so relieved and grateful that a natural approach is making the necessary difference. There's still a ways to go, though.

Looking back at this roughest of years, we're making a conscious effort to let dark, cloudy expanses of memory to recede, focusing instead on the many bright spots (and there are indeed many, including the two out-of-town trips), holding them close, letting them expand and fill our hearts:

Two concerts by Voces8, an exquisite a capella octet from England – our hands-down favorite vocal group. Their first performance focused on jazz and pop tunes, plus some classical works. The second evening was at the historic St. John's Cathedral in Denver, near the capital. Hearing sacred music as it was meant to be, soaring into high spaces, reverberating throughout the nave was sublimely uplifting.

Early in the year, Benjamin was "paired" through the international Best Buddies program. His new friend is an artist (pottery and photography), and they get together regularly. High points were the spring "Buddy Ball" and attendance at the September concert of Benjamin's favorite pop artist, Owl City in Denver.

Monthly participation in social gatherings for those with special needs: Expand (Boulder), All Stars (Thornton), Shine (Niwot), and the annual Shine Prom in September.

Several fabulous art show openings with delicious food and fantastic works of art. Also, a trip to Central City to see Kiss Me Kate in the exquisite Opera House.

For the summer solstice, Benjamin managed to temporarily resuscitate his singing-with-ukulele and treated us to a few songs in the grandparents' garden.

Benjamin's cousin has been living nearby while working on his doctorate at CU, and the "boys" get along beautifully—family can be such a joy. He is an accomplished magician and, while working for the Underground magic theater (Stanley Hotel in Estes Park), he obtained tickets for some extraordinary performances. By chance, Benjamin was chosen to assist during one of these—an enchanting story was enacted, with Benjamin at its heart. Magical in every sense!

Cantabile Choir has been a vital anchor this year, keeping Benjamin connected to life/friends/music/performing in spite of all difficulties. This year's choir retreat in Estes Park was noteworthy as we successfully strategized a way to overcome Benjamin's problems with elevated altitude. Our family cabin played a part in that…

Recently, our first time back to the movie theater since Covid – the Met Opera's live broadcast of Florenzia en el Amazonas was enchanting: the orchestra's sound like a gorgeous tapestry, playing out the psychological undercurrents of each character (very Wagnerian in that way); the lush sets involving projections that evoke the Amazon river and rainforest; delightfully imaginative dancers/body-puppets to show schools of fishes, a pod of dolphins, birds and butterflies, a comical monkey, and more…and as always, the phenomenal opera singers with their stellar voices and acting. A completely soul-satisfying production.

Finally, after a year of mostly silence at home, Benjamin is gradually tolerating and even enjoying listening to music on his Bose speakers. His eclectic taste in music remains, and he has a knack for finding recordings of exquisite choral performances. The reawakening of his emotional connection to music is a relief—it was in limbo for such a long time…

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