A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was starting a book project. Since it has been a month or so since I mentioned this fact, I felt like I needed to follow up and say that, Yes, I am still working on this project.
Phase One of this project, the R & D, or 'Research and Development', is to copy four years worth of blogs that I have written thus far. I am still currently in the process of copying all my blogs to word documents. I have given myself a 'finish by' date because deadlines work really, really well to keep me on track when I'm working on something (This 'something' can be anything, not necessarily art or creative related, but just in life). If I have a goal or a deadline, I can meet it. And I usually meet it early. So, my finish by date for copying my blogs is March 13th. I am telling you about this because I want to hold myself accountable, and if I put it in writing and tell you all about it then I am even more likely to meet that goal.
My next phase is to print the copied blogs and then read through them and expound on my thoughts. At this point I don't have any deadline for that, but I do feel that eventually I will have to give myself one. But I need to get through Phase One first!
Not only have I started this project, but I have also started another book project, which I find myself a little reluctant to admit because isn't one at a time enough? And how can I do one well if my attention is divided with another?
Yet, there it is. Another book project. This one though, is different. The first project I have a very definite plan and goal as to how I am going to go about this. I don't know exactly what will come out as I write or what it will look like exactly when it's finished, but I am working on it specifically and intentionally with an end goal in mind.
This other book project is a story of fiction and it's more like a hobby than anything. I'm writing slowly, not super intentional, just 'flying by the seat of my pants' and seeing where the story takes me. I'm writing when I get inspired, scenes, words coming together, words I like and a plot and characters are starting to take some sort of shape.
And I like it. It feels fun and enjoyable. There's no pressure. And in some ways I'm finding it to be a healing process. I don't know where this little hobby-project will take more me or what will come of it, if anything. But at least I am enjoying myself when I do get the chance to work on it. I'm not stifiling the romantic words in me any longer. I am letting them come out and sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's easy, but in both cases, I like it. And I am being surprised too, on some level, with what it is coming out of me. I've never thought of myself as a writer of fiction, but as I'm working on this I am thinking, Maybe I do have a story in me after all. In fact, I know I do. It's just giving myself time to let it all come to the surface and be shaped into something.
And perhaps I have more than one story. I am finding that I like to slow things down. To savor the story. My story (stories?) seem to be more character and scene driven than plot driven, I think.
This past weekend I read 'Mercy Will Follow Me' by Sarah Hanks. It deals with some really hard themes and is a very fast-paced, plot-driven story. It kept me engrossed all weekend (Staying up way too late reading, reading, reading) and yet as I was reading it I wanted it to slow down in some respects. It was good, but it felt like everything happened very, very fast.
Writers who are published authors know what they are doing. Or at least it looks that way. When I sit down to read a fictional story, I start at the beginning of the book. The story I am reading has a beginning, a middle and an end. Yet when the author was sitting down to write the story did they start at the beginning and write full on to the end?? Was there a clear cut beginning, middle and end when they were writing? Did they write by chapters? Or was it just a hodge podge conglomeration of words and scenes and did they start with a scene in the middle and then jump to the beginning and then back to the middle and then the end and then the beginning and then chapter 5 and then chapter 10 and then, the list goes on and on and on. Do they start with a shadow of a character without a face and without a name, or do they assign names and characters and plots at the beginning, before they even start to write? Is it all planned out ahead of time, or do they do like me and 'find the story' within them?
Are they Plotters or Pantsers?
While browsing at the library last week I was skimming a book on writing and found this quote. I apologize in advance, I don't know which book or what author, but the quote reads like this, "So Write what you know is perhaps better write as Write whatever the hell you want to write but anytime you have a chance to bring real-world details or emotions into play, you should feel free to do so, and if there is information that you're missing, go get that information. But that isn't too catchy, is it?"
That quote was what I needed to hear both then and now, because I tend to keep things in a box and follow protocol and 'how tos'....This is how you write a book and This is what you should write and This is what people want to read, etc. But the reality is that line of thinking is really crap and will get you nowhere. Not even 'Nowhere fast', just absolutely Nowhere.
That's why rough drafts really are just rough drafts. They are a congolmeration of a messy plot and unrefined characters and nothing is broken neatly into chapters and it's all just in the works and very rough.
A book that we see on the shelf at a bookstore or in a library or wherever you happen to find books went through a process of becoming. It's all bound neatly with beautiful pictures, or just words depending on the type of book it is, and it's all together a whole, finished package, ready for you to dive in and explore and learn and grow. But it didn't start that way.
A book is the result of years worth of effort and learning and discovering and tears and hoping and trying and working and then reworking and finding out what the words want to say through you. A book has a purpose. Whether it is a tutorial, a work of history, of poetry, of teaching, or for simply the pleasure of reading a well-thought out story each book has a purpose for being written. The person who wrote it thought that what they wanted to say actually did need to be said and it mattered enough to them to go through the time and trouble of actually writing it, then finding an agent and a publisher and an editor to get their words and ideas into a form so that others could read what they wrote. A book is a lot of work. What we see on the shelf is the result of a lot of hard, hard work.
A book is worthwhile. Writing a book is a worthwhile effort.
I need to remind myself that as I struggle through a fuzzy plot line, faceless characters and day-after-day of copying my blogs. 🙂
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