A cultural question

Janet Carr

February 11

My biggest treat every day I am in town in the cold is a large extra-hot latte to take away. I savour every sip.

When I popped into the coffee shop, I saw this sign encouraging people ordering in to choose the green cup. If you chose a green cup it was a signal to others in the coffee shop that you were open to conversations with strangers. I asked the barista how many customers have chosen the cup and she said very few.

This was totally in line with what I expected her to say. And exactly what all my students said when I asked them the same thing in different classes.

Swedes don't do small talk with strangers or chit-chat in shops, queues, and public transport. You don't talk to strangers. When I lived for a brief time in Ireland, people would bend my ear on public transport, in shops, and at the till during transactions. In Sweden it is all conducted in silence. You also sit or stand as far away from other people as possible.

The exceptions are often elderly people or people from other countries. I often chat to elderly people if they make the opening move, like the wonderful 98 year old man in the café, who I will never forget. I know a lot of elderly people are lonely and like to chat to people in stores. The cup campaign above was aimed at reducing loneliness.

Maybe the next time I am there I will request a green cup.

A small smile:

I read this on Quora about how to behave in Sweden:

Keep your distance, don't stand close to strangers when for example waiting for bus. Also, you should not sit beside a stranger in bus or a bench if there are other empty rows/benches available.
Do not initiate small talk with people you don't know, it is just not a thing in Sweden. People would think you are weird.
Do not invite for lunch or dinner to people you just met to "know them more". Know them enough 1st and then you may do that.
Do not invite people to spontaneous plans, swedes like to plan ahead. Way way ahead. They plan their summer vacations at start of the year in every detail. Most of the time they have fully booked 3 weekends. So, if you plan on inviting them to an event, do it well in advance, preferably 4 weeks in advance.
Don't sit on a bench if it means having to sit close to someone who already sits there.
Never attempt to talk to Swedes in trains, trams and buses. Respect their private space.

Are there any other nationalities outside the Nordic countries who are similar to this?