bytetime posted: " I am a bit stuck for the annual "year in review" post. In past years, I have dot pointed activities and travels, listing them so I can at least remember what the past year held. 2023 has felt really different. I started out the year with the goal to m" Tracey M Benson || Bytetime
I am a bit stuck for the annual "year in review" post. In past years, I have dot pointed activities and travels, listing them so I can at least remember what the past year held.
2023 has felt really different. I started out the year with the goal to move like the dugong, purposefully and gently ❤
In many ways this did indeed happen but I am not sure how purposefully my life has shifted gear.
The biggest event (a poor choice of words) was the passing of my father in June. Grief is a strange thing, sometimes I forget he has left this existence and other times I was triggered to tears by the slightest thing. It (grief) certainly is not something that seems to have a clear start and end point. In many ways, Kevin's passing has been part of a whole journey this year of letting go.
Letting go of defining my worth through paid employment, letting go of the fear of less money, letting go of the need to be leading from the front as the realisation that leading from the side or from the back provides space for other people to step forward. And goodness knows I have needed that.
I called this year's review "into the void" because I am trusting that by letting go that what I am meant to be doing, my vocation, my passion will come to the fore. Also some things have sort of gone into the void - like the Masters of Science thesis I submitted in May - I am still waiting for the examination process to be finalised.
Full Moon at Woorim
In the past I have written about the concept of the void, in te reo Māori known as Te Kore as it is also the space of potentiality and the Sacred. But how to still the busy mind is not so easy...
In many ways I am true to my astrological traits as an Aries Fire Horse - impatient, full of new ideas, energised for the next shiny thing and always in motion, sometimes burning myself out from my own tendency to "bite off more than I can chew." Slowly munching on seagrass and languidly coming up to the surface is not my natural state, which is why I admire the dugong so much...
This year, instead of listing all the things, I was initially going to share two links - one to Treecreate and one to the Weaving Water website as these sites have listed most of the projects which have been evolving this year. On reflection, I did add a list of the things which shaped the year just gone - can't help myself!
Community Looking back at the 2023 through my collection of images I am struck by how much has been about being 'in communion' and 'community' and I am so very grateful to be able to reflect on these moments. My parents have always been very active in their local community for as long as I can remember, and one thing Dad told me not that long before he went into care was that they were motivated to make their community a great place to live for my sister and myself. This was especially the case in Darwin as we moved to Darwin in 1977 initially as part of the rebuilding efforts after cyclone Tracy in 1974.
Connection Community is about connection and I am very grateful for the connections to places and people this past year. Some of the stand outs:
with around 60 locals, launching the Treecreate Studio with a smoking ceremony from the Pumicestone Indigenous Education and Employment Council (PIEEC) jarjums, MC'ed by the amazing Michelle Watson with wonderful encouragement from Aunty Flo Watson, Ange Venardos the founder of the Bribie Arts Trail and music from the beautiful Rebecca Thompson
tramping across Yorkshire in search on ley lines and ancestral connections with my beautiful star sistar Clare Drury
walking the labyrinth in Chartres and attending mass in the crypt when the Druids well is located
heading to Aotearoa to deepen connections with Maggie, Kim and the AwhiWorld community
returning to Parihaka to connect with Maata Wharehoka and her whanau for Puanga
spending time in Uluru and walking around this sacred monolith
supporting local theatre production Turning Point led by Rebecca Thompson and Afra Feeney
working with the BIEPA Dugong group to support the inaugural Dugong Symposium,
Gratitude It is humbling to have had the learnings of the year past and I am so grateful to find these threads of community and connection. I am also so very grateful for my beautiful husband Marty, who is my fellow adventurer, patient guide and steadfast love. It has been an honour to witness his unfolding and I treasure our journey together.
Learnings I am also very mindful of some of the events which have caused incredible pain and trauma. The refusal of the Australian population to support a First Nation Voice to parliament was regressive and damaging. At a personal level, to see the trauma, pain and fear expressed by First Nations friends in our community and beyond was heartbreaking. Also the state of war in the Ukraine and Gaza is a gruesome reminder of how un-evolved and cruel we are as a species.
The word that comes to me on this first day of 2024 is TRUST. Believe in the letting go, listen to the lessons that come on the wing, in the rustle of leaves and in the constant flow of the oceans.
My hope for 2024 is to continue the lessons of the Dugong and to hold peace and hope in my heart and trust in the unfolding journey.
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