Since I started in my journey as a competitor for the Graphic Design Skill Area starting July 2022, I get questions on how I got into this path; how did an architecture student from a state university got into technical vocational education and entered into the path of becoming a WorldSkills competitor?
I always answer that it all started with the death of my closest friend last November 2021. I went through high school and much of my college life with a few close friends and I have one who I can say was my bestest friend. And he died.
That was the first time that someone close to my heart died and it changed me. It was numbing. Even weeks and months had passed, I still tear up whenever I reminisce about our memories together. It was also the very first time that I experienced triggers. I could not watch a film or read a book with a main character dying or experiencing grief without ending crying as well. Because I knew the pain. I felt it. I recognize that hollow, soul-sucking pain that was a result of losing a person that you cherished so much.
From the death of my closest friend, I realized that, Oh, like him, I could also die too... Maybe tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? Who knows?
I can die at any moment now too
and that thought filled me with the energy that I should go do things that I wanted and not wait for a 'perfect moment' to go do it. I am an architecture student and when I want to do something, I always reason out on my head, 'Oh I'm gonna do that after I graduate.'
But who's to guarantee that I will have time to do the thing that I wanted when I finally graduate? i bet I will come up with another reason or there will be other events that will shake my life up after graduation that will cause me not to pursue others things that what I wanted to do. As Nobel Prize Laureate Dorris Lesing stated, "Whatever you're meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible."
Filled with grief and armed with my realization of pursuing the things that I wanted to do regardless of the circumstances that I have in my life, I went on to pursue my curiousities.
Two months after losing my closest friend, I saw an opportunity to enroll at a Visual Graphic Design course at the Regional Training Center-NCR. Graphic design was one of the areas that I was curious about given my architecture background and my very little knowledge then on illustrator and photoshop. Despite my heavy academic load in college, I decided to enroll in the said course since it was only online classes and thinking that maybe I'll die next year, I cannot pass up this opportunity of pursuing one of my curiousities. (A quick note: it wasn't such a quick decision. Two weeks before the classes for the course started, I was second guessing myself whether I could really go out of it alive given that I have too much to do as an architecture student plus my personal responsibilities. I was thinking of actually foregoing my slot in the course. But good thing I followed my curiousities.)
Then the classes started and my trainer for the course who is now my coach and one of the father figures in my life, Sir Demetrio Pable, asked me if I wanted to join the District Skills competition for the Graphic Design skill area. I rejected him at first, stating to him that, "Hindi ako magaling (I am not good)." but he was relentless and told me that I could hone the skills needed for the competition if I just train really hard. Many things happened after that, but similar to how I got into this path, I entered the path to becoming a WorldSkills competitor because I became curious of the competition.
Fast forward to the present time, November 2023, two years after my closest friend died; Now, I am a silver medalist at the recently held WorldSkills ASEAN Skills Competition 2023 in Singapore last July and this month, my final competition will happen: WorldSkills Asia 2023.
With only about several days left before flight to Abu Dhabi, I cannot help but feel like my last competition is a culmination of everything that has transpired as a result of my best friend dying two years ago.
From the great loss that I experienced, I was pushed onto a path where I experienced countless identity deaths.
It is by going down into this abyss— what I thought was the end of the world with my closest friend gone—I am then able to experience a journey abundant of compassion, grace and excellence.
Author Joseph Campbell wrote, "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to the source of what you are looking for."
This month, my journey as a WorldSkills competitor that started more than a year ago will come to a halt. But the lessons and the relationships that I build will continue on. hopefully.
Very coincidence that the same month that I experienced one of the greatest loss in my life, is the same month where a journey will end. Like I wrote earlier, it feels like a culmination. It feels like I am finally close to finishing a circle and would go on to draw another circle afterwards.
The loss of life gave birth to something profound. There really is no love lost, only a redirection of energy. Praying that I will receive whatever it is that I am ready for by the time this month ends. And I have faith that it will be beautiful.
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