Let's talk about uncomfortable experiences.
Not long ago, someone close to me made a racist remark. While I was unhappy with his comment, it was not out of the realm of possible given that our conversation was already going south. I called him out. We had a fight. I think we're not currently speaking. I mean, I'm speaking to him but I don't think he's reciprocating.
Yesterday, I was at a restaurant when my server made a racist remark. What she said reverberates through my brain even as I type this but I will never repeat it – not ever. The situation with her was a little different. I was talking to my lunch companion. We were discussing the word piddlin', which, depending on your community, either means "trivial" or "peeing." (Isn't language hilarious?) The server wasn't even part of the discussion. She was dropping off the check. She looked at me, made her racist comment like she was asking if we wanted a refresh of our iced tea, and then stood there, waiting for my response.
Friends, my companion and I were so surprised we just stared. She doubled down on her racist bullshit and I gobbled like a turkey. I swear to god there were no words in my head. I have no idea what I said next. In my head, NOW, I have ALL THE WORDS. Regrettably – and I do regret it deeply – then, I had no words. None. I was a blank slate of horror, confusion, and disgust.
My privilege, as a white woman, means that I can walk away from this event and take no action. Nothing will happen to me. Nothing will happen to her. In reality, it's unlikely that her opinions will be changed by anything I say. But had I spoken up, she would – at the very least – have known that I am not a safe person to say those words to. Maybe a negative response from me would have meant that she'd consider, in future, before sharing her racist opinions with the next customer.
I can't let that experience go unchallenged. Maybe I didn't have the words then, but I definitely have them now. And I'll be using them tomorrow. What will happen after that? We'll see, won't we? All I know at the moment is that I won't be doing nothing.
Now for something completely different ….
There was a very young boy at the coffee shop this morning. He was with his dad who, apparently, never had responsibility for him before. Dad kept saying, "keep your voice down" and the little guy kept saying "NO." And my stomach muscles hurt from laughing as hard as I did. Isn't it time for men to realize that they aren't doing women a favor by "watching the kids?" Yo, men, that's called parenting. Seriously, how was that man so unskilled at talking to his son? I'm delighted by the interaction and hope that child tortures his dad relentlessly until his morning nap, the dad's not the kids. There's no way that kid is going to sleep anytime soon since Dad just bought him multiple doughnuts.
I bumped into an indie author at the farmers market yesterday and told her which of her books I'm currently reading. Her stories are at the top of the spice rack, if you know what I mean, so she was a little embarrassed but in a good way, I think. For her, it was probably a little like going to see a movie with your adult child and discovering that there's a sex scene. I know what she wrote. She knows I know that she wrote it. Hehe
Right now, my primary task is supposedly working on my novel. I AM working on the novel. Unfortunately, a significant amount of my typing, thus far today, has involved the backspace key. And not because I keep making typos. There was a rager across the street last night and it was still going hard at 4AM. So much drumming. If there's a hell, I'll definitely be on the drumming floor for all eternity. Usually, I like a good beat but it seems that today, at least, I'm that person, the curmudgeon who can't appreciate an intense urge to drum before the sun arrives.
Much love.
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