In the days that swiftly followed she was no longer herself but a strange, puzzling creature, wilful over judgment and scornful of self-analysis, refusing to peer into the future or to think about herself and whither she was drifting. She was in a fever of tingling mystery, alternately frightened and charmed, and in constant bewilderment. She had one idea firmly fixed, however, which insured her security. She would not let Martin speak his love. As long as she did this, all would be well. In a few days he would be off to sea. And even if he did speak, all would be well. It could not be otherwise, for she did not love him. Of course, it would be a painful half hour for him, and an embarrassing half hour for her, because it would be her first proposal. She thrilled deliciously at the thought. She was really a woman, with a man ripe to ask for her in marriage. It was a lure to all that was fundamental in her sex. The fabric of her life, of all that constituted her, quivered and grew tremulous. The thought fluttered in her mind like a flame-attracted moth. She went so far as to imagine Martin proposing, herself putting the words into his mouth; and she rehearsed her refusal, tempering it with kindness and exhorting him to true and noble manhood. And especially he must stop smoking cigarettes. She would make a point of that. But no, she must not let him speak at all. She could stop him, and she had told her mother that she would. All flushed and burning, she regretfully dismissed the conjured situation. Her first proposal would have to be deferred to a more propitious time and a more eligible suitor. | In dhu daez dhat swiftly foloed shy wuz noe longgur hurself but u straenj, puzuling krychur, wilful oevur jujmunt and skaurnful uv self-unalusus, rifuezing too pir intoo dhu fuechur aur too thingk ubout hurself and whidhur shy wuz drifting. Shy wuz in u fyvur uv tinguling mistury, aulturnutivly frietund and chormd, and in konstunt biwildurmunt. Shy had wun iedyu furmly fiksd, hou.evur, which inshwrd hur sikywruty. Shy wwd not let Mortun spyk hiz luv. Az long az shy did dhis, aul wwd by wel. In u fue daez hy wwd by of too sy. And yvun if hy did spyk, aul wwd by wel. It kwd not by udhurwiez, faur shy did not luv him. Uv kaurs, it wwd by u paenful haf our faur him, and an imbarusing haf our faur hur, bikauz it wwd by hur furst prupoezul. Shy thrild diliishusly at dhu thaut. Shy wuz ryly u wwmun, with u man riep too ask faur hur in marij. It wuz u lwr too aul dhat wuz fundumentul in hur seks. Dhu fabrik uv hur lief, uv aul dhat konstutootud hur, kwivurd and groo tremyulus. Dhu thaut fluturd in hur miend liek u flaem-utraktud moth. Shy went soe for az too imajun Mortun prupoezing, hurself pwting dhu wurdz intoo hiz mouth; and shy rihursd hur rifuezul, tempuring it with kiendnus and egzaurting him too troo and noebul manhwd. And espeshuly hy must stop smoeking sigurets. Shy wwd maek u point uv dhat. But noe, shy must not let him spyk at aul. Shy kwd stop him, and shy had toeld hur mudhur dhat shy wwd. Aul flushd and burning, shy rigretfuly dismisd dhu konjurd situaeshun. Hur furst prupoezul wwd hav too by difurd too u maur prupishus tiem and u maur elujubul sootur. |
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